Today, there are millions of guys struggling with sexual purity. There are thousands of dollars poured into internet filtering programs like x3Watch and K9. There are countless ministries in local churches to try and help break this addiction. That’s what it really is, an addiction. Porn and masturbation (the two unspoken words) have the same level of addiction as crack cocaine. It’s the best designed addiction by satan for the human male, I believe. The connection physically, mentally, emotionally, visually, and chemically is enormous; and rightly so, God designed them, Satan perverted them.
The studies that have been done show that the brain takes mental snap shots of things when we are sexually aroused. God designed us that way! He designed us to have sex with our wife and to take snap shots of her so that our love may grow even deeper. But when that deep passionate snapshot is fed thousands of different woman from internet pornography there are some huge psychological effects.
Consider what John Eldredge says in his famous book Wild at Heart:
“There is something mythic in the way a man is with a woman. Our sexuality offers a parable of amazing depth when it comes to being masculine and feminine. The man comes to offer his strength and the woman invites the man into herself, an act that requires courage and vulnerability and selflessness for both of them. Notice first that if the man will not rise to the occasion, nothing will happen. He must move; his strength must swell before he can enter her. But neither will the love consummate unless the woman opens herself in stunning vulnerability. When both are living as they were meant to live, the man enters his woman and offers his strength. He /spills himself there/, in her, for her; she draws him in, embraces and envelopes him. When all is over he is spent; but ah, what a sweet death it is.”
Who are you offering your strength to? Who are you giving your essence to? A woman you’ll never meet? A woman who is not your wife? Your hand? Guys this is foolish. You’re worth so much more than this.
You do not achieve sexual purity by focusing on sexual purity. Read that again... I’ll save you the trouble of making your eyes move again. YOU DO NOT ACHIEVE SEXUAL PURITY BY FOCUSING ON SEXUAL PURITY. But this is the focus of so many purity groups and crusades. Their heart is in the right place, their motives are good--but their focus is off base.
“If you want to build a ship, don’t summon people to buy wood, prepare tools, distribute jobs, and organize the work; rather teach people the yearning for the wide, boundless ocean.” -Antoine de Saint-Exupery
In order to defeat sexual immorality we must look beyond it. In order to get through the storm we must keep our heads up and our eyes on the only thing that will get us through it. It’s not about a boat any more. The only thing that will get you through sexual impurity is Jesus Christ. A man born 2000 years ago who died, rose, and ascended into heaven.
Put yourself in Peter’s shoes in Matthew 14. The disciples are on a boat, in a storm, at night. They see a figure they think is Jesus walking on the water towards them. “‘Lord, if it’s you,’ Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.’” You’ve already done that if you’re still reading this note this far down... You’ve asked Jesus what he wants of you, you’ve asked him to help you take the first step on this journey of purity. You recognize porn, masturbation, lust, etc. is a sin.
Jesus invites Peter onto the water, which must have had waves because of the storm. Peter actually got out of the boat and began to walk on the water. Some of you are here, you’ve accepted the challenge to become pure. We know what happens next--Peter begins to sink. But when does he begin to sink? Only /after/ he took his eyes off of Jesus and focused on the wind and the waves. Guys, you will sink if you focus on the wind and the waves. If you keep your eyes on solving purity just for the sake of purity you will sink.
Notice what happens next though. Peter realizes his stupidity and repents, “...cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. ‘You of little faith,’ he said, ‘why did you doubt.’” Guys of little faith, why do you lose focus? Why do you take your eyes off of Christ?
My purpose here isn’t to bash sexual purity programs. They are certainly needed so long as this is true: we must keep our focus on Christ. I think sexual purity groups and programs can have outstanding effects but only if Jesus Christ is the focus of not only the participants but the leaders and the ministry itself.
Ultimately this all boils back down to “Love God, Love Others.” Guys it’s time to be done with this impurity. God has work for us to do and we cannot use both hands for the kingdom if one is in our pants. It’s time to grow up. It’s time to get to work. It’s time to Love Jesus Christ with everything we have.
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